I did a good deed today.
I actually did a courageous good deed.
I honestly do not want any credit for this good deed.
I sincerely hope no one took a picture or video of the bravery I exhibited, and if someone did, I pray they do not tag me on facebook.
I would have taken a picture myself for memory’s sake, but honestly, I was more concerned with finishing my task as soon as possible then capturing the moment.
Don’t applaud yet.
I ventured into Victoria’s Secret with four kids by myself this afternoon. Wait, it gets better, this was during the “semi- annual” sale.
You see, I had a return to make from the catalog and thought I’d make a quick little run in the store with my entourage.
You should have seen the employees eyes when I had my six year old hold the door as my crew entered the store. First was my studly and overly wild 4.5 year old son, followed by my stroller stacked with a diaper bag, beach towels (we were playing in the water earlier), books, toys, and who the heck knows what else. Follow by my two and a half year old girl singing because she was overly tired and hyper.
The greeter at the door promptly asked, “Can I help you?” within seconds of my entrance.
Apparently moms with children– window shopping in victoria’s secret is highly frowned upon.
I handed her my return and she zipped to the register with a quick “I’ll take care of this for you.” In the time it took to have the brief conversation with the employee my six year old and had found the underwear bin and was holding up a lacy thong….
“Oooh, these are pretty mommy. I like these…” she said as she twirled them effortlessly around her finger.
Then, quickly she dug back into the bin pulling out a more modest pair, “Look mom, bright shorts! These look like shorts for meeeeeeee!!” She squealed!
Embarrassed I told her not to touch anything as I browsed the bras while waiting for the return to be processed. Katana, my spunky 2.5yr old, quickly eyes the tester body sprays and darted off into that direction. I abandoned the stroller with the babe and went to grab her as fast I could. “No Katana, no sweetie. You can’t touch these!” My abrupt scolding was followed with a loud whine, “I waaaaaaaaannnnnnnnna spray, I wanna spray….”
I grabbed her hand and dragged her backwards, heading back to the stroller to discover that my son had decided to “gracefully” push it around the store. Thankfully, he didn’t get too far because of the bra table he continued to ram into. Apparently he thought if he hit it enough times with the wheels it might move out of the way for him.
I firmly grasped the hand of my now lifeless and dragging two and a half year old, regained control of the stroller, and smiled gratefully as the store employee approached. Praise God, I muttered under my breath.
“You’re all set ma’am.”
We headed for the door quickly, all of the kids in a line behind me as I coaxed, “move it gang, follow me!” I chuckled as I exited and thought to myself– she called me “Ma’am.” I sure felt as old as a “Ma’am” today…
You see, I did a good deed for society today. It took less then five minutes and yet was absolutely exhausting.
Friends, I provided mental birth control for all those not wearing wedding rings (and those who are newly weds!) in the store…I have a feeling those who have sexual relations after witnessing my circus will think twice tonight about how they will prevent kids of their own. Perhaps, they’ll even choose abstinence.
You’re welcome potential teen moms, college aged ladies, and newly weds– you are welcome! And VS, I apologize for the loss of revenue I may have caused, I promise to not come back in for a long long long time.